BiblioCoach 20 For 20

All the Life Goals lists that have been popping up on the socials the first few weeks of the new year have me asking “What books would kickstart an amazing 2020? What are the ideas that we really need to be talking about right now?”

And so I’ve put together a list of life-changing books for my BiblioCoach 20 for 20 – my Top 20 reads to launch an audacious 2020.

20. Hope

Hope in the Dark: Untold histories, wild possibilities

Rebecca Solnit

To get the ball rolling, let’s start at number 20 with what many feel they really need now – Hope. Rebecca Solnit’s essay collection, Hope in the Dark, is as relevant today as when she wrote it in 2005 (post-Bush-re-election). I tend not to mark my books but this one is filled with underlined passages; page after page of “Yes that’s it!”.

Revisiting Solnit’s words in this first month of 2020 reminds me that things do change and we have the power to act for change. This book inspires me to listen, observe, speak out, engage in conversations and take action in 2020. We can do it. It is worth it. Solnit gives me hope.

Solnit sparks me to ask:

What could I do this year to be part of the solution?

19. Meaning

Man’s Search For Meaning

Viktor Frankl

Let’s go right to the heart of the matter with number 19 and examine our life’s Why with … Meaning. Viktor Frankl’s 1946 autobiography, Man’s Search For Meaning, chronicles his time as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during WW2 and introduces his therapeutic approach, Logotherapy. Through his story, Frankl teases out what helped those who survived and suggests it was having a future goal – a why, a reason to live, a life with meaning.

I first came across Frankl’s work in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People which (mis)quotes Frankl’s words as “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I think this quote captures the intention of Frankl’s original words (even though it’s probably a variation on a Rollo May quote). Since first reading Frankl’s work almost 20 years ago, his words have time and again helped me to respond – rather than react – to situations.

Frankl’s words keep me coming back to the question:

What is life asking of me in this particular moment?

18. Wonder

Devotions: The selected poems of Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver

While walking through the ancient tall trees of Tasmania’s Mount Field National Park last year, I found myself perturbed by the loud voices of other walkers. Couldn’t they stop talking for just a minute to take in the wonder of this magnificent place? I realised in that moment that nature is my church. For me, it is a place of awe and reverence. The noisy walkers soon passed and the stillness returned.

I go to nature to reconnect with the wonder of life – and to be reminded what’s important. When I am unable to get to a green environment, I read Mary Oliver’s poems. Oliver’s words transport me immediately to the natural world. Her poetry collection, Devotions, sits by my bed, at the ready for those times of uncertainty and challenge. On this first anniversary of Mary Oliver’s death, I share Devotions with you as number 18 for all the joy, awe, wonder, stillness, reverence and pause it brings to my life.

Mary Oliver perfectly asks:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

17. Simplicity

Goodbye, Things: On minimalist living

Fumio Sasaki

Less is more. It’s a no-brainer to realise a good life is not synonymous with the acquisition of stuff. And yet our mainstream capitalist culture is built on consumption. What you have now is not good enough; you need bigger, brighter, faster, more.

For me, objects are depositories of meaning, they tell stories, they make me feel. I like to live simply, to be mindful of what I bring into my life and the impact it has on my budget, my mental health and the planet. So while simplicity helps me reduce the complexity of my life, I also find minimalism’s focus on reducing the quantity of stuff you own useful in how it challenges my simple life thinking even more. Soooo …

Number 17 is Fumio Sasaki’s Goodbye Things. Sasaki’s approach to letting go challenges even those who have konmari’d their sock drawer to within an inch of its joy-sparking life. Yes, he tells us to toss out even those things that spark joy. I may not follow his lead, but his book makes me think more deeply about my relationship with objects.

Sasaki’s words not only makes me ask what’s important but also:

What do I *really* need?

16. Diverse

Girl, Woman, Other

Bernardine Evariston

I went to the tennis for the first time last weekend. I don’t really follow sport but I found it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Exciting even.  But one aspect of it really unsettled me – as I looked around the audience I could see only a handful of brown faces; it was the whitest crowd I’d seen in years. Okay, and it was older too. And very well dressed. Hmmm.

Once I got over my discomfort with all this whiteness – and the crashing awareness in that moment of my own privilege – I realised how much I appreciate living in a diverse neighbourhood – where people from around the world are welcomed, other cultures embraced.

I like how Canadians refer to their cultural diversity as a ‘cultural mosaic’ – as it acknowledges that each individual brings something unique to society. So it is with number 16, Bernardine Evaristo’s novel, Girl, Woman, Other. Evaristo weaves the stories of 12 people (mostly women, mostly black) into a novel that celebrates otherness and diversity – be it race, gender, sexuality, class – as a beautiful mosaic. I get to hear stories of courage and resilience of women forgotten in the pages of history and literature.

Evaristo makes me ask:

What stories am I not hearing? What do I need to open my eyes to?

15. Mindset

Mindset: How you can fulfil your potential

Carol Dweck

One of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal in our journey from A to B is our mind. It can work for us – “I can do it! Woot!” – or against us – “I’m no good at public speaking”. Social psychologist Carol Dweck would call these examples of growth- and fixed-mindsets. Dweck’s 20-plus years of research suggests it’s not necessarily innate ability that determines success but having a growth mindset – seeing difficult tasks as challenges to learn from. There is no failure, only feedback.

Over the years, I’ve found that when I adopt this mindset, I flourish. The learning approach not only gives me the courage to take on new projects but also the toolkit for the resilience required along the way – for when venturing into new territory, there are risks, there will be failures. And so as we embark on our audacious 2020, I give you number 15, Carol Dweck’s Mindset.

Dweck’s words remind me of the question I’ll be asking all this year:

What have I learnt from this? (Woot!)

14. Vision

Utopia For Realists: And how we can get there

Rutger Bregman

Enough with the dystopias. We get it. It’s awful. People do bad things. It’s what we fear; what we don’t want.

How about we start exploring what we do want our worlds to look like, how we want to be treated – and treat others – how we can put our values into action on a global scale? Let us imagine what could be. Let us create a vision for the future; a vision we can begin to live right now. We may need to think outside our usual social media feed but it’s okay, we have many visionaries ready to spark our imaginations.

Number 14 on our BiblioCoach 20for20 quest is Rutger Bregman’s Utopia for Realists. We’re not talking prescriptive blueprints here. This is more about creating a fuzzy vision with guideposts for a good life for all. I love Bregman’s book because it is a rallying call to think beyond what is in front of us – what is presented by politicians, the media, advertising, commerce as the only options.

Bregman’s words prompt me to ask:

What other ways are there to live? What’s my fuzzy vision?

13. Imagination

The Left Hand of Darkness

Ursula Le Guin

Sometimes finding the way forward in life requires a little imagination.

When I feel the need for a very different perspective on things, I venture into the worlds of science fiction. In these far-far-away lands, we get to tag along on the author’s thought experiments – such as in number 13, Ursula Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness, where the ambisexual people of Gethen and its pregnant king have us rethinking sexuality, politics and spirituality. It was a mind-flipping read when released in 1969 and is still so today. When immersed in Le Guin’s complex, heart-filled and fully realised worlds, it feels so real that it’s easy to forget this is all imagined. And, that we all have this power to imagine our own brave new worlds.

Le Guin’s words get me asking:

What worlds lie within my imagination, ready to be realised?

12. Ideas

This Idea is Brilliant: Lost, overlooked and under-appreciated scientific concepts everyone should know

John Brockman (ed)

Ideas, they’re all around us, hustling for attention in an information-overloaded world. Surely, with all these fab ideas at-the-ready our life paths are clear, our solutions illuminated?

But, like the products on the late night infomercials, not all ideas are fit for purpose nor have longevity. As Einstein may (or may not) have said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.” We need to see life or our own challenges or questions through a different lens; some new neural pathway action is needed.

When I need new ways of seeing, I look to those whose thinking often dwells at the edges – our scientists and philosophers, our designers and artists, our activists and thinkers.

For 20 years, John Brockman has been posing a yearly question to contemporary thinkers on his edge dot org website. His 2017 question, “What scientific term or concept ought to be more widely known?” brings answers from the fields such as psychology, physics, art, music, history, philosophy and technology. Some of the 206 ideas presented are familiar (systemic bias, Gaia hypothesis, neurodiversity), many are new (enactivism? the schnitt?), all get me seeing the world a bit differently. Brockman’s compilation of these answers, This Idea is Brilliant, is number 12.

Brockman’s thinkers remind me to ask:

How could I see this differently?

11. Beauty

Wabi-Sabi: For artists, designs, poets and philosophers

Leonard Koren

So, here I am, trying to write this post about the beauty of imperfection and I’ve missed my deadline and nothing I write is quite right and I’m starting to get a bit stressed that I won’t be able to perfectly capture what I’m trying to say and … I suddenly realise the irony of this moment.

Wabi-sabi is noticing the beauty in things imperfect, impermanent, incomplete. Like now. It is the crack in the cup, the rust on the corrugated iron, the leaf slowly decaying in the puddle. It is acknowledging the ebb and flow, the growth and dissolution of life. Like walking amongst the tall trees, wabi-sabi brings our focus to what is. And how beautiful it is, as is.

And, just like that, the post is written. Number 11 is Leonard Koren’s Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers (and anyone else who wants to more fully appreciate this beautiful life).

Koren’s exquisite exploration of this Japanese aesthetic reminds me to ask:

What is beautifully imperfect right now?

10. Peace

Full Catastrophe Living

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program is one of the few personal change programs/techniques I’ve encountered over the last 30 years that have made me stand back and go, “Well that really does seem to work”. As part of my psych training I co-facilitated a variation of the course (MBCT) – which integrated Kabat-Zinn’s approach with cognitive therapy – and the changes observed in participant’s physical, emotional and mental well-being over the 8 weeks were, for this evergreen sceptic, remarkable. It was a transformational experience for participants – and for me. Practising mindfulness everyday got me out of my head and into my body. My body relaxed. My mind found peace. I can still hear Kabat-Zinn’s lilt on the audio CDs we used as part of the course and, even now, that voice brings me peace.

So number 10 is the book that launched a thousand mindfulness groups, Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Full Catastrophe Living. Kabat-Zinn has written many books on mindfulness so it’s not essential to dive into the deep-end with this one. His introductory guides are excellent first reads. I still find Full Catastrophe Living the go-to book on mindfulness though, and it has an extra special place in my heart as it was my first bibliocoaching book group read in 2010.

Kabat-Zinn’s words remind me to pause, breathe, and ask:

“What is happening in my body? What do I feel? What do I see? What do I hear?”

9. A Good Life

How to be a Stoic: Ancient wisdom for modern living

Massimo Pigliucci

Until quite recently, Buddhism was the go-to section in bookshops for those seeking answers to the big life questions. Now, stoicism seems to be the new Buddhism. I feel a little late to the stoic party. Sure, I’ve read a few Ryan Holiday blog posts on the topic but it’s never felt relevant to my life. So when I recently picked up Massimo Pigliucci’s How to be a Stoic, I thought “This is it! I’m finally going to find out how to live a good life!” and then I put it on my bookshelf and forgot about it. It wasn’t until going through all my books to select my BiblioCoach 20 for 20 last week that I picked it up again and it had that undeniable pull of the-right-book-at-the-right-time. Whilst flicking through the pages, I noticed ideas that were strikingly similar to Buddhism and CBT, and the Serenity Prayer and Viktor Frankl were mentioned, and it seemed to be a dialogue with Epictetus (Who is Epictetus? I thought Marcus Aurelius was the stoic dude?), and apparently there are three disciplines of stoicism that are connected to its four virtues. And now I really want to read it. I give you number 9 in our 20 Books to Launch Your Audacious 2020:

Pigliucci’s words so simply ask:

How ought we live our lives?

8. Connection

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the attention economy

Jenny Odell

I have a love-hate relationship with social media and news feeds. I love them because I want to stay connected to friends and what is happening in the wider world. I hate them because they catapult me into a time-suck and make me anxious.

Last year I withdrew from most of them, reconnected with people in real-time and took back my time and mental health. But now I find myself in the position of launching a new business and asking how do I re-engage with the message board used by 32% of the globe? I don’t want to return to my life of no time and feeling like crap. I want to do it differently.

Artist Jenny Odell’s call to (non) action on resisting the attention economy, How to Do Nothing, presents a third way. Instead of allowing capitalism’s latest profit machine (social media) to suck the life out of us, or quit it completely, she suggests instead that it can be a creative space of resistance-in-place. So, rather than withdraw completely from social media, we direct our attention elsewhere. In so doing we not only reclaim our time and space but we get to re-engage with the things that bring so much value to life and yet are rarely valued in the economy – art, nature, relationships. We reconnect with our friends and family, our communities, the places we live, the planet. We regain the things I originally sought in social media and news feeds: Connection and awareness. I give you number 8.

Odell’s words remind me to ask:

How do I want to connect with what’s important in my life?

7. Compassion

Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted living in a brokenhearted world

Pema Chodron

We live in uncertain times. How do we engage with a world that seems to be a maelstrom of outrage, ignorance and indifference; a world divided between ‘us and them’? Pema Chodron believes we need to move beyond this polarised worldview through the practice of Bodhichitta – the awakening of heart and mind for the benefit of all.

In her latest book, Pema brings her heart-filled wisdom to help us cultivate the compassion, optimism and courage needed for an uncertain future. We best start now – with number 7, Welcoming the Unwelcome.

Pema asks the grand-doozy question for preparing for adversity:

“Will I be able to maintain a steady mind and a kind heart that can accommodate whatever pain arises and therefore benefit myself and society rather than be a hindrance?”

6. Wisdom

Sand Talk: How Indigenous thinking can save the world

Tyson Yunkarporta

Wisdom. It conjures up images of old folk and ancient cultures, scrolled texts from Europe and Asia, and … yoda. And yet, as recent bushfires made clear, mainstream Australia does not heed nor rarely acknowledges the wisdom of our oldest culture, the Aboriginal people who have been here 60,000 years – and that is our loss. It is well overdue that we listen to the wisdom of Indigenous people.

Tyson Yunkarporta is an Apalech clan member, Wik Mungkan speaker, academic and he likes a good yarn. He’s spoken with Aboriginal elders, academics and friends from around the world and brought their wisdom together in Sand Talk. (Sand talk refers to the Indigenous practice of connecting with others through drawing a picture in the sand.) Tyson shares their stories with his own stories and drawings, to present new ways of thinking, knowing and connecting; a different way of being. Our options (and solutions) multiply when we take off the blinkers of white, colonial thinking. It’s a different way of seeing who and how we can be, and it is number 6 in my BiblioCoach 20 for 20.

Tyson’s words open whole new worlds and have me asking:

Who do I need to listen to? What do I need to draw in the sand?

5. Action

Making Ideas Happen: Overcoming the obstacles between vision and reality

Scott Belsky

Living in the land of grand ideas is great fun. Daring dreams. Wild what-ifs. Vast visions. All the wonders of the universe are suddenly within our reach. But ideas only become truly powerful (and life changing) when put into practice.

Turning a big idea into reality is a tough gig. Not only do you have to conceptualise what you’re doing but also how you’re going to do it. And then you have to actually do it and deal with the obstacles you had no idea of in your planning because there’s only so much information you can process at one time. It takes vision, it takes organisation, it takes other people – and it takes focused action. Every day. But when it works – when you see your idea become reality – it’s a pretty amazing feeling. So as we get to the business end of my BiblioCoach 20 for 20, I give you your action companion for the journey, Making Ideas Happen by Scott Belsky.

Scott’s very practical approach reminds me to ask:

What one thing can I do today that will take me closer to my goal?

4. Tiny Change

Tiny Habits: The small changes that change everything

BJ Fogg

Like many folks my age I have a crappy back. I know the stretches that ease the pain and the drugs and physical therapies that quell the flare-ups. But for 20 years I’ve struggled with integrating the maintenance exercises into my daily routine. Until last year.

The straw that finally cracked my back issue was BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits program. Part of his method involves anchoring a new habit to an existing habit. For me, the new-habit magic happens with my morning cup of tea. While the kettle boils and the tea brews (existing habit), I do my back exercises (new habit). Cup of tea. Back exercises. Every morning. This very small change to my daily routine means I can now move, all day, and back pain is a rare event. While this may not be the panacea for all back pain, for me, this tiny change was pretty life changing. Number 4 is BJ Fogg’s brand new book, Tiny Habits, where he shares his 20 years of research and wisdom in the field of behaviour change.

BJ’s work reminds me to ask:

What are my existing habits? What small change can I make?

3. Joy

Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris

So are you all fired-up with your big plans for the year? When life gets a little bit, um, full – like now – I find it’s so easy to forget the joy. Laughter. Friendship. Cat videos. Dancing badly to trashy disco. Singing out of tune. Skipping in a field of daisies. They are the highs that balance the lows – that remind me the setbacks are temporary. Up. Down. Sideways. Life.

My go-to guy for bookish joy is Mr David Sedaris. He has been making me chuckle inappropriately and publicly snort gobs of laughter-snot for two decades. My favourite is his book of essays, Me Talk Pretty One Day – not just because the title essay captures the frustration and ridiculousness of learning a new language but also because it reminds me to lighten up.

I first read it years ago while staying with far-away family for a funeral. It was a very sober affair and I was well out of my comfort zone. And yet my most vivid memory of that time is lying on the couch reading Sedaris’s book, shaking with laughter, tears streaming down my face, revelling in the inappropriateness of joy in the midst of death. It was exactly what I needed at that time. It was my lotus in the mud. And so I give you a beacon of light, number 3 on my BiblioCoach 20 for 20.

David Sedaris’s words always remind me to ask:

Where’s the joy Joy?

2. Courage

Daring Greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead

Brene Brown

In the next few days, I am embarking on a project that means so much to me. It’s an idea that’s been percolating, starting, pausing, shifting gears for 13 years; an idea I’ve not had the space nor, to be honest, the confidence to follow through to fruition. BiblioCoach is almost ready to launch and, at this moment, I am shit scared. This life-fulfilling project combines two things I believe are incredibly life- and world-changing: books and coaching. I don’t want to f*ck it up.

And so I turn my attention to fortitude – as it is courage that I seek most this year. The courage to do the things that make me feel wildly uncomfortable. The courage to get back up when I stumble.

There are a few significant things that are giving me courage right now. I have amazing, supportive friends. I am mainlining Elizabeth Day’s How To Fail podcast. And, from the depths of my memory, there is a Cheryl Richardson quote that keeps me on task: “Excitement conquers fear”. Oh, and of course, there’s the queen of vulnerability, Brene Brown.

Brene’s research into vulnerability reminds me that it’s only through making ourselves vulnerable, stepping into the discomfort, that we grow and truly live. And it’s not just big projects this applies to – how often do we avoid those difficult conversations with loved ones or colleagues? And so for those of you who are tempted by the courageous life, I invite you to join me in this year of everyday audacious living with number 2, Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly.

Brene’s words make me ask:

What is the courageous path?

1. Live

Dear Life: A doctor’s story of love and loss

Rachel Clarke

My first memory of reading is as a 5-year-old, sitting in my big sister Lois’s lap, doing the brain version of rhythmic gymnastics as my eyes saw and my lips mouthed: “Hop! Hop on Pop!” It wasn’t long before I was dazzled by the adventures of not just one fish but “Two fish!” and a red fish and a blue fish. Of course, once I found out about a cat (“In a hat!!”), well my slippery slope to reading oblivion was well underway. I quickly moved on from my beloved Dr Seuss and became smitten with words and the power of books and reading to open up new worlds.

The person who opened up this world of reading for me, the person who taught me to read, my sister Lois, died last month. I don’t share this for sympathy. I share because it is the reason I am doing what I’m doing right now. Her death was my wake up call – to start living now, to start using the gifts, knowledge, talents I’ve accumulated in life.

Rachel Clarke, a palliative care doctor in the UK, had her own awakening when her dearly loved father died in 2017. She beautifully explores the joy, kindness, sorrow, grace and strength of life and death in her memoir, Dear Life. Rachel’s stories of her father, her patients, her work all brim with life – and remind me that it is through staring directly at death we realise what a precious gift this life is. And we have the opportunity, right now, to make it a brilliant celebration of all that we can be. Life is short.

Rachel’s heartfelt words remind me to ask:

What is it to truly live?