How is your serenity?

Seriously.

As many of us find we are living in a world where the rules change daily, it can be overwhelming keeping up with what we can and can’t do.

Can I go outside? How close can I stand to another human being? Do I need to disinfect my entire living space? What about the handle on the kettle at work? Should I even be at work?

Add into all that the uncertainty about health, uncertainty about income and uncertainty about whether you will actually cope with the isolation of lockdown, and it all goes into overwhelm overdrive.

Decisions stop being made. Action stops. And yet, you feel like you should be doing something. So you get this tight feeling in your shoulders and your chest and it’s really hard to concentrate on anything because your mind keeps going back to what you’ve just read or heard this morning and how you’re going to cope …

Sound familiar?

Wanting to free myself from this little sideshow of anxiety, I did what I always do in times of uncertainty. I went to google. But, I kept getting distracted so google wasn’t much help. So, Plan B, I went to my Bookshelf. There, I discovered a book that I’d picked up at a library sale almost 20 years ago.

Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety by Robert Gerzon may have been published in 1997 for a different manifestation of anxiety but its advice is surprisingly contemporary (and helpful – for a self-help book).

Gerzon describes the stress cycle – and how we get all caught up in anxious thinking and behaviour when we don’t have a way to release the tension caused by stressors in our life.

Say you stumble across a threat to your well-being, such as a hungry crocodile. Your body goes into flight or fight mode by either running away very fast or tussling with the big croc. In so doing, your body gets to let loose that energy.

But in our modern lives, we encounter stressors everyday and often don’t have that physical release mechanism – so our usually helpful brain steps in and starts micromanaging our stressors (think think think) with little outcome (because you couldn’t possibly DO anything because it might be the wrong decision). It explains why going for a walk or a swim when troubled is so good at clearing the head.

Sparked by Gerzon’s book* – and after having a little bit of a look at other stress and resilience literature (because: distraction) – I started reflecting on what other things help me move forward in uncertain times. And, I came up with my …

Big Five Important Things in Uncertain Times

Be kind to your mind

Our brain is our personal commander-in-chief so having it in shape to take on the leadership role required is of utmost importance. Being kind to your mind consists of two parts: be intentional about what goes in (media and social media, conversations with friends and loved ones) and what you’re doing with that information (so checking your thoughts are helpful, that you’ve got perspective, you’re aware of what you can change and what you can’t, you’re responding rather than reacting, taking a learning approach, laughing, and so much more.)

Be kind to your body

We do some nasty stuff to our bodies when we’re stuck in the stress cycle. There’s the comfort quelling with the bags of chips, packets of biscuits, and bottles of wine – and that’s just for breakfast. But we all have access to our number one friend in times of stress – our breath. In and out. We can use it to bring awareness to what’s going on in our bodies (a bit of pain here, tension there, numbness all down there) with mindfulness, or add in some movement (tai chi, yoga, pilates, weights, walking, running, swimming) to strengthen and stretch and bring oxygen to our outer regions. It all starts with our breath.

Connect with your purpose

Now you have your mind and your body working for you, it’s time to give it a purpose. Do a little bit of novel-gazing to work out what’s important to you. Look at where you put your energy and attention. Look at what you’re good at and what you love doing. Have a project. Give yourself some goals. Have something meaningful to move toward.

Take action

Do something. Once you’ve worked out where you’re headed, start moving. You don’t need the exact plan, just the next step. Don’t wait to be swept along by the choices and decisions of others – be an active participant in your life. Work out the things that are in your control, make some decisions and go forth. Live now.

Be kind to others

We are social creatures. Our cultures may try to convince us otherwise but we live collectively. Even those of us who identify as introverts occasionally need some external stimulation. Connect with others. Think of others. If you don’t know how to connect, simply ask, how can I help? Be kind. Be generous. Be human.

Well, that was my advice to myself anyway.

I’m going to read a few more books, have a few more conversations with friends, write a few more journal entries, walk and breathe (and try and not check my news feed every hour) and find a little bit of serenity and humanity in this extraordinarily challenging time.

So what books are you reaching for to meet these uncertain-times needs? What are your Big Five Important Things right now?

*What I liked about Gerzon’s approach is his A+ plan for responding to the anxiety produced by modern life. It consists of acceptance, awareness, analysis, action and appreciation. I like it because it’s like five modern pop psych / self-help books rolled into one; it’s a little bit of ACT with an extra dash of mindfulness, a bit of CBT, coaching and positive psychology-style gratitude and appreciation. (Okay, the language is a bit 1990s business-speak and Gerzon does like the odd Bible story to illustrate his points, but his approach has good bones.)